A first for me. AWKWARD!

So, in 1 hour I will be taking my first ever stripper style class with a friend of mine at Impulse and I am expecting to laugh at myself so hard that I leave looking like I've peed myself a la this photo of Fergie from the Black Eyed Pease circa 2009.
.

Here is a synopsis of the class we're taking from the company's web site:

"Booty Basics (Level- ALL)
Learn booty basic techniques and work on toning exercises to help your booty be the best it can be! Stretching will also be used in this class to increase hip and inner thigh flexibility, which is crucial to great booty work."      Can you say it with me? OH MAH GAH! Holy crap, I don't know if I'm ready for this!

Should be interesting. I'm taking a friend who has NO rhythm and is scared to even walk into the place, as I've been informed that the props for the class are tiny bells tied to little ribbons hung from paper clips. I have to admit, this scares even me.
I just hope I don't get hurt and end up having to explain to my father why I'm in the hospital bed next to him this evening.
Well, I'm off to drop my minion underlings children off with my evil overlord mother and hit the 7-11 for a Rockstar Zero and a gallon of water so I can make it through the whole class and not die of dehydration.
Look for an update between tomorrow and Monday, I hope to have a few photo taking opportunities, but not sure.
I hope everyone has a safe and Merry Christmas and is enjoying the Solstice!
Happy and Safe Holidays!

Hydrating your largest organ: More important than you'd think.

"Your epidermis is showing." I used to hate when other kids would say that to me. Now I say it to my kids and they laugh at me. Not that being laughed at is anything new for me.

We all know that our skin is our largest organ and we know it needs to be properly cared for or it gets angry. I read all of these magazine articles and other reviews by people that are suggesting these outrageously priced beauty products and think "Jeez, your lotion is the same price as I pay for a nice dinner out with my family." Who has that kind of money in this economy without embarrassing themselves in front of the nation? I sure as hell don't. So, I figured that maybe there are a few of you out there (even though only 1 person really reads any of my nonsensical ramblings opinionated and honest postings) that may be in the same boat and wanting some information from a normal every day down to earth, broke a s joke stay at home mom and full time college student. Well, if you're in that category, or just like laughing at me like my kids do, then feel free to read on. If you aren't, you may wanna skip over to another, much more talented fit blog and read away at the enlightening studies and struggles of others much more glamorous than I.
You may like Charlotte of The Great Fitness Experiment who tries every new fitness redonkulousness to hit the news wire, has heart warming tales of her trials as a mother, raw and heart wrenching honesty of her struggles with years of skewed body image and eating disorders and her amazingly hysterical and comfortingly similar sense of humor. Oh, and she wrote a book about it all. Or maybe you're a bit ornery today and you're in an "eff that noise" kind of mood. If that's the case, might I suggest some you time reading the amazing Crabby McSlacker who also has a Life Coaching business, but doesn't allow that much positive in the way of her execution of cranky views of all of the back and forth double speak of the studies that come out about health and fitness and foods that may or may not kill you with some alien amoeba from Someplanetwedontknowyetland. Or, if you're looking for a inspiration from a Jewish Misfit that is super crazy fitness driven, but oh so amazing in her Yoda looking Nike shoes, hop on over to meet Carla who is Unapologetically Herself and raising her awesome tornado to be the same and stay fit and mindful while they do it.  And lastly, if you're in need of some inspiration from a woman who finds the HOTTEST steamy delicious half naked man pictures you will EVER find on a not adult site, go see Kelly and read her Mantastic Mondays posts. I love all of these ladies and it's not all about the women at all times. There are some good tips and reads in there for all of the men, too. And you never know, you may find a cool giveaway or an interesting bit of info you didn't know before. (And remember that Fitfluential Ambassador thing I told you about? Yeah, I think they're all on that list and Kelly is the leader of that cult fitness pack). I hope to one day finally be one of the cool kids and get into that group of people. ;)

And now for the info I mentioned on affordable crap to stop the winter dry crackling or angry redness of the skin some people may have wanted to read about.
First, again, I'm going to say that every one of these obnoxious and droning opinions are my own, all of the items have been purchased by me, none were provided for me by the companies and I'm not getting paid (or threatened) to say any of this, it's just an honest opinion of some stuff I've found that works for me. The only exception that applies is when I receive something from a survey company and I'm allowed to spread the word. I will be sure to explain those when I come to those instances.
Also, if you have allergies or sensitive skin, please make sure that the products you buy are safe for you and I do not recommend applying or using any of these products on irritated or abraded (scratched or scraped) skin. Also know that NONE of these products are intended for use other than what is printed on their labels and are for external use only, so while the body scrub is made of sugar and smells absolutely amazing, you SHOULD NOT EAT IT, cause ya know, it's not food.

First up, I would like to start with the least expensive, but know that NONE of the products I buy are more that $8. Anything more is a waste to me, unless there's a coupon or it's on clearance.
This is the Skintimate Shave Lotion in the Revitalizing line with some exfoliating pearl stuff in it. I admit to buying the wrong one, but the link takes you to my preferred type. This is a LOTION, not a gel that foams, so it's not thick, but I really like that it's super moisturizing. Walmart, Target and Publix all sell some variation of it and it's a little more expensive than the shave gel they make, but I like this better. It runs around $2.50, but there are always coupons for about $1 in the Sunday papers. I give this overall a 4 star rating. would be 5, but they don't have a strawberry scent and I'm addicted to strawberry. They have a variety of infused vitamins and such and different scents, but I like the least scent possible, since my scrub smells so good. (which I'll get to a little further down the road.)

Next we have the Dove Deodorant Ultimate Go Fresh in the Burst Scent. I love this because it's a refreshing citrus scent without being too powerful. It does the heavier b.o. blocking for days you need it, but will need to be reapplied after you workout, before you stop at the store on your way home from a hard core crossfit class. It's not the clinical strength and if you smell like me (a cross between a construction worker and a garbage man) post workout, you'll wanna pack this in your gym bag or invest in the more expensive heavy duty one. This will run you about $2.75 for the larger as pictured, but it lasts a long time and you can usually find the gift packs that have 2 of these and a body wash or lotion in them. 4 stars since I do have to reapply quite a lot from my man stink.

Nivea Bodywash is super moisturizing and comes in a variety of scents and levels of moisture, but they don't make my favorite apricot (that actually smells like a fresh sliced nectarine) scent anymore. You can find it on Amazon.com, but if you wanna just grab it while you're at the store, the Orang Blossom is a very close 2nd. I have a condition called Keratosis where my skin doesn't create enough keratin on it's own and I end up with red spots and bumps on my arms if I don't exfoliate and moisturize enough. It's not painful, just itchy and looks a bit funny at times. This bodywash starts the moisture process and earns 4.5 stars from me. (the apricot totally earned the full 5) It will run you about $3-$4 depending on where you buy it and if you have coupons. (I FREAKING LOVE COUPONS!)

Johnson's Aloe and E Baby Lotion usually runs about $4, but it's THE BEST lotion I've found for my skin. I hate the greasy and sticky lotions and need something with little to no scent. I also need it to be safe for sensitive skin as well as super nourishing for my disorder. Johnson's does it. This is a solid 5 stars and you can usually find it pretty cheap and there are quite a few coupons out there for baby stuff. You can also sign up for the mom programs through Johnson's and Publix and get coupons sent to you in the mail. LOVE!!!

This Body Scrub is FREAKING AMAZING! And at just under $5 at Walmart, you can't go wrong. It smells delicious and the scent that remains on your skin is minimal, but still there. It exfoliates wonderfully and lasts quite a while as long as you don't get too much water in the container. I use it on my face and my whole body and my skin is SO SOFT when I'm done. Definitely a full on 5 stars. And if you don't like the brazil nut smell, they have a coconut lime that's very citrus like and isn't too heavy on the coconut. This is the one that smells Nom-worthy, but do not eat it. it's not supposed to be consumed regardless of the sugar content.

Now, that's 5 products that will cost you less than $20 if you are a bargain shopper. They are totally worth it and you don't have to worry about breaking the bank on beauty stuff that the magazines are spouting their praises about.
So, do you have any products that you're totally in love with that cost less than $10? If so, please tell me about it, I'm always up for trying new stuff.

Training, fitness and weight loss assistant? Personal review of a FitBit

Well, I don't have anything to give away, just a LOT of opinions about a LOT of things. But, for time, space and brain power saving I'll try my damnedest to remain focused on just the fitness items here, more specifically the Fit Bit fitness assistant/pedometer/superstalker tracker/all around awesome fitness assistance tool.
I would like to begin by saying that this is not an item I received for free (not THAT lucky and certainly not AT ALL popular) and I am in no way being paid by anyone to share my awesome opinions on this or any other item I post an opinion/review about, unless otherwise stated in the post regarding said item/company/service provider.
Next, it all started when I found an awesome fitness blog called Cranky Fitness. This is an entertaining and informative blog that I instantly fell in love with. Crabby is hilarious and down to Earth and I find kinship in those willing to complain and rant about the newest and most ridiculous information to be found about fitness, health and anything else.

In the box! (sorry that the photo is dark)

A week or 2 after my awesome stumble upon this gem of a site, there was a giveaway posted for a Fit Bit activity and fitness tracker. I was curious, so I decided to read away. (Here's the giveaway post that has expired and it's been won, but she's got good info there.) Now, I put that all to the side on a list of stuff to look into buying during my newly found love of getting in shape (yes, I know that round is a shape, just not one I was sporting well, as you've seen) and kept perusing other sites, blogs and equipment.
Flash forward to September and I see another mention of it somewhere, though for the life of me I can't remember where now. Anyway, I took a gander at Amazon.com and read up on the info and reviews and got REALLY interested. So, I ordered one on September 15th, paid for expedited shipping and got super excited. UPS arrived at my door less than 24 hours later as I was online reading about this amazing itty bitty thing and found out that I could have been instantly gratified if I would have taken a breath and read that you can get them at Best Buy. (insert smacking noise and a face palm here) ANYWAY, I rushed to the door and barely contained my desire to tackle and hug the UPS delivery driver to death excitement and thanked the driver as graciously as my palpitations would allow.
After screeching at a decibel only canines and aliens are able to hear, I opened the slightly crushed box to reveal angels singing and blinding heavenly lights my little fitbit. At first I was a little disappointed as the box was the size of a shoe box, but inside was another box about 4" on all sides and about 3" deep. It was clear and I could see this tiny fitbit thing staring up at me. (well, not really staring, since it doesn't have eyes.
I resisted the urge to use a claw or ball peen hammer to open it and carefully searched for and removed the tape holding it closed and inventoried all it contained.
I was a little disappointed in not finding much, but I would soon replace that with love and adoration.

This is the back of the box that contained
the wonder that is my FitBit.

These were the items inside the box. Yes, That is IT. 

Now, don't mistake the simplicity for cheap. It was a bit pricey at $99 plus the $14 overnight shipping, but once you find out all of it's wonder and glory, you may see that it is well worth it.

 This is a photo of everything other than the actual FitBit pedometer. You get a soft spandex type velcro closure wrist doo dad, the USB charging/data port (but it is wireless data transfer ready, too), and a belt clip holster thingamabob. The holster thing is used to clip the fitbit to your thicker belts or bras or whatever you're clipping it to. Otherwise, it's easy to set on a sports bra, workout pants with a thinner waistband, workout shirt, etc. I've never even used my belt clip and couldn't even tell you where it is at the moment.

Closer photo of the contents sans pedometer with the wrist bandy sleevy thinger velcro'd closed. This is definitely adjustable and machine washable, supposedly. I would recommend placing it in a lingerie bag if you're putting it in the machine, otherwise just wash it in your shower and allow it to air dry. Please also note that I believe it does stretch a bit over time, but can't be sure how much. Sorry, but I'm in the process of shrinking, so no % or ratio is available. (and math is my mortal enemy, so it wouldn't happen anyway)

This is how thin this thing is. It's made of a hard plastic material and I use mine almost every day. (I've forgotten it about 6 or 7 days total since I received it)

This is the front of it. The little button is the thingy you push to see how many steps you've taken, how far you've gone with said steps, how many calories you've burned and a cute little progress flower that grows and shrinks throughout your day based on your activity. These are shown in the accent color of the fitbit on mine. (aqua) I'm not sure if they show up purple on the purple version of the Ultra.

Now, you should know that mine is the basic version, beta, numero uno, first generation from what I can tell. Now they off the FitBit Ultra that also tracks your stairs, which is pretty cool for some. It came out about 13 days after I got mine. Such is the story of my life.
When you register on the fitbit.com site (Which is FREE, thankfully) you get to build up your profile and discover the world of fitbit in a new way. This little doo dad doesn't just track your activity and progress, it also tracks your sleep and how efficient it is each night. (as long as you remember to set it and wear it in the handy dandy wrist bandy) You have the option of setting weight and activity goals, logging your food and water and also to log various activities and their time frames.
The site also gives you bar graphs to show your progress over a period of time. Days, weeks, and months are able to be compared and you can enter your mood and any notes as well. You also have the ability to add friends that are fitbit users and see what your ranking is among them all.
I LOVE my fitbit and found out shortly after using it that you can link your fitbit account to another free fitness site called Earnd It that rewards you with points for certain levels of activity that you can redeem for gift cards and prizes to a number of places online. They also do various challenges that are free and some that have an entry fee that give you the opportunity to challenge yourself and others. These all have various rewards from gift cards of your choice to fruit snacks to discount codes just for participating.

Overall, this is a splurge, but one well worth the $ and you can even choose your color. They have that nifty aqua you see in my photos and then you also can choose a mauve color which is kind of a mix between pink and purple. Considering all of the benefits for almost anyone (that can keep track of it and remember to use it right) this is well worth the $100 investment. It's not GPS or heart rate monitor enabled, but the site has so many pluses to out rank those. If you're diabetic, there are places to log your glucose levels. Watching your BP? Cool, there's a log for you to track that, too. Plus it can also give you an overall summary of your all time steps, distance and activity score and with the Ultra you get overall stairs you've climbed too. It's pretty effin nifty and set up is so easy my father could do it. (Love him more than anything, but he's not the best at dealing with technology) It takes all of maybe 4 minutes for the fitbit to get set up with time zone and to open a free account. Your data dock is your charger and has to be connected via USB port on your computer to charge it for a while before the first use, but after that it charges pretty quick and holds up to 10 days of data and a charge. (I've only pushed it to 6 and had no problems at all) PLUS as long as your data pluggy importer stuff is hooked up to your computer and it's powered up and online, when you stand still within 15 feet of it for more than a few seconds, your data is auto synced to your account online, so no time wasting for it to upload info and loose out on those extra 20 steps. (I'm quite competitive with myself and when others are in the competition I can not be held responsible for my verbal assaults.)

So, you're (all 0 of you) probably wondering what my actual ratings are... Well, fine, here you go:
Ease of use: 5/5
Durability: 5/5 (so far, less than 3 months in)
Benefits: 4/5 (ability to sync with a heart rate monitor or a gps would bring this to a 5 definitely)
Website: 5/5 (For mathematical value, personally, I'd go with a 7 or so)
Motivational factor: For me, 4/5 (see competitive statement)

Overall awesomeness score: 4.6/5 (again, HR monitor or GPS compatibility)

Worth your hard earned $100? More so than that expensive dinner out with too many sugary drinks, for sure. NOT worth skimping on good for you snacks or gas for that trip to the park with your kids from having to pull from gas money to get it. (nothing really is)

So, lemme know if you have one, want one, had one or think this review totally sucks the big cojones. If you have a similar fit assistant, tell me about it and gimme your opinion. I love trying new stuff, even if it's a bit complicated. (within reason, not full on body suits to measure hair growth or some such alien nonsense.)

And last, what is your plan for staying fit or getting more fit over the next week? Screw the holidays, you still have 4 more weeks, next week is only 1 or 2 days away, depending on your location.

Wordless Wednesday: Feeling loved on Monday.

Accountability: Next item on the endangered list?

Being a full time college student and mother has it's ups and downs, but one thing that seems to be constant in both is accountability and lack thereof. I read a post on a non-fitness blog today that made me a little upset on someone else's behalf. Essentially it all came about on and because of face book (possibly read as "the root of all evil") and people not thinking before they speak and act in an internet forum. It all falls back on accountability. I know what you're (I'm, since I have exactly 0 readers as of yet) thinking. "Well, Sinner, that's all well and good, but this is a fit blog, right? What does that have to do with this?" Well, let me just tell you...
I have a friend who is an obsessive fitness freak and a gym owner that I love dearly. He's recently gotten into fitness hardcore, despite having a personal trainer certification since 2007. He's working toward his own goal in body building and tends to get quite angry when he hears, reads, or experiences excuses as to why people didn't, don't or can't work out. Sometimes this makes me wish he lived closer so I could strangle him and explain that his OCD isn't universal, but other times I see his point.
The above blog entry overview is no different, as it all falls back on accountability. We are all accountable for our action, inaction, words (spoken or written), and how they are perceived and received. Unfortunately we have no control over the latter, but we can soften the blow a bit by owning up to them all. We can't rationally rely on someone else to be the ones that hold us accountable for what we do or don't do. We have to do it ourselves and be honest about it.
So, I ask you... Do you hold yourself accountable or do you expect someone or something else to do it? Do you expect the scale you step on religiously to check your progress to tell you when you've slacked off or back slid? What about the tape measure? Neither of them can tell you that you've over/under indulged or that you've fallen behind on your goals or exercise, YOU have to do it! Some of us are lucky (unlucky?) enough to have friends and family that will assist in this area and nicely tell us that we're overworking ourselves or overdoing it on the desserts or that it's been a few days since they heard about us working out or since they saw us at the gym. Others of us have friends and family that aren't as concerned, whether it's because they don't realize how serious you are about your goals or because they don't want to hurt your feelings. When you have a situation like the second one, you are the one who has to give yourself the talk. Sometimes out loud like a psychiatric patient, but that's alright. As long as you say what you need to feel and don't come up with invalid excuses and it gets you back on track.
Today is the best (and every) day to reaffirm your goal and modify your routine and get back on track to wear you want to be heading.
Where do you want to be heading and where are you now? Do you need accountability assistance or someone to talk smack to get you moving? I know I have days that I do. And that's alright, let someone know that you do, you never know how big your cheering section is until you look for it.

Sunday....

Photo from blog.leisurefitness.com

Well, it's Sunday. I know a lot of people that decide to rest on this day and take it easy and I think I may be doing the same. Yesterday was a day full of school work for me, so I didn't get out and do my run or any other fitness work.
I'm feeling a bit worn down lately and I'm hoping that it gets a bit cooler tonight so I can run and feel invigorated. I've read a few articles where it has been reported that those with asthma shouldn't run when it gets too cool out because it can trigger their asthma, but I find it to be the opposite for me. I tend to breathe better when I run in the cooler weather. I do know that you have to do a little more warm up before going out so your muscles don't cramp up and you don't hurt yourself, but my warm up is usually a brisk walk before I begin to run or some air squats prior to leaving.
I know there isn't anyone on the other side of this computer reading just yet, but eventually I'm sure there will be. So, if you do read this, feel free to let me know how you change your work outs and warm up routines according to the weather...

Photo from MassageEnvy.com

Have a great Sunday, cause Monday has no mercy. lol

I have NO idea what I'm doing. The first novel entry.

Well, here is my first attempt at fitness blogging. I want to be totally up front and admit that I have NO idea what in hell I'm doing. I also feel that it's necessary for me to divulge the fact that I have ulterior motives for starting this little pretend corner of the interwebs. What, you may ask, are said ulterior motives? Well, lemme just tell ya that one is that I'm a wannabe. I want to be like those awesome ladies out there that blog on a constant basis about how bad ass their fitness routines are and how much amazing progress they're making. Another is somewhat selfishly greedy. I want to be a FitFluential Ambassador. Now, if you've read that last line and ended up with a face that looks like this 0.o, take a look at this site and read through what it means to be FitFluential and what being an Ambassador is all about. And my final ulterior motive is a bit narcissistic. Let me explain....
I am 31 years old and a mother of 3 and have been married for 10 years. I am a full time college student (at honors level, I might add) with a husband that works around 60-70 hours each week and my kids are in elementary and middle school. Our family has gone through some stressful times this year, none of which I will bore and shock you with right now, but I needed a release for my frustrations and anger and stress. I've been athletic (define that term however you'd like) most of my life. I swam before I could walk, and in middle and high school I was swimming, diving, doing synchronized swimming (which is MUCH harder than most believe it to be), had a short stint learning karate, played softball intermittently, played football recreationally with friends, and I roller skated so much that when I found out that I was pregnant with my first child, I immediately signed a release for to continue through my pregnancy. (which I did at least 5 times each week up until the week before I gave birth to my son) I've always loved sports and activity, but as most do, I got comfortable and eventually lazy when it came to fitness. 



Until I was 19 and pregnant, I was always very thin and muscular, but during my first pregnancy I gained 65 lbs, despite hating junk food and not being able to eat meat without gagging. I got back into swimming and roller skating as soon as I could, but it took a while getting back into the regular activity, as having a new born tends to be the focus of your entire life. Fast forward to about 2 years later and I was losing weight alright, but found out I was pregnant again. This time, if it fit into my mouth, I was trying to eat it, though I weighed the same as the first pregnancy on the day of giving birth. I was hungry and nauseous at ALL TIMES. With 2 children, both in diapers fitness took a seat under the rear end somewhere around that bottle jack no one ever uses, never mind a back seat. 

2006, the baby was already 3

I had little conscious though of my size, though I was very self-conscious about it, if that makes any sense. Now, fast forward again to 2009. I was looking for a decent job and was not able to find one willing to pay me more than minimum wage. Having worked FULL TIME mostly all of my post-pubescent life and never having been paid minimum wage or even close, I wasn't willing to degrade myself further in an already depressed mind set. (Please know that the economy wasn't anywhere near as horrible as it is now and I am NOT knocking minimum wage jobs, because everyone has to start somewhere and sometimes start over. I respect all of those out there working hard, no matter your pay, gender, race, status, etc.) So, I decided to go to school. Now, this was a nerve wracking decision at 29 after graduating with my "Good Enough Diploma" at 16 years old. But, I did. This began a tidal wave of emotions and life altering views of who I was and wanted to be and how others saw me.
I wasn't as concerned with my appearance or what others saw on the outside, so fitness was still a bit on the back burner.

Summer, 2010

Fast forward AGAIN to December 2010, now I had to do something. At my heaviest (on the day I gave birth either time) I was about 222 lbs. I know that this is not something many see as attractive, but my belly and boobs were HUGE! I had an almost 10 lb. child the first time. My family and I were in the market to move. In a neighborhood where a woman was shot and killed 6 blocks from us, we had to get out, FAST. School, kids and their school, house hunting, packing, research, papers. It was a lot, and I needed to do something for me to get it all out of my head, so I joined the gym. I began losing weight and workout as often as I could. It wasn't a dramatic weight loss or obsessive workout routine, but I enjoyed it. So, come February, we move, then we get bad news about my father and I was mentally barely hanging on. I had to do something active to keep my mind occupied and not break down, so I did. I chose to take the summer semester off of school to help my family and be with my kids, but I also found a job. WORK! WOOT! Hard manual labor. This sounds odd, but I much rather have a physically demanding job that kept me moving than any other job. I was assisting in a house remodel. I got to do demolition. I knocked up tile, moved heavy stuff, knocked out walls and windows, I was sweating POOLS every day all day and smelled like a rotting corpse by the time I left and I LOVED IT! Plus, I was getting paid. 

Then we found out that the house we moved into was in foreclosure and we had to move again. This time it was fast and furious, no real hunting and organizing time. I found a house and signed the papers and knew cleaning and painting would be involved, I just didn't realize that I would be doing almost as much work on it as I was on the remodeling job site I was working on. But, it was necessary, so I did it. I quit the job I had and focused on the home we were moving to. 
Prior to the job, I signed up for a Dr's weight loss program. I was at a size 22 in pants and had had ENOUGH with growing out of everything. I told the Dr that I didn't want to know my weight because I tend to obsess over the #, but that didn't work out. On May 5th, 2011, I had a bomb dropped on my head and my mind almost exploded. I was told that I weighed over 200 lbs. I was heart broken and disgusted. I had never thought I could be that heavy without being pregnant. HOLY CRAPATOLLA! How did I get here without anyone telling me I looked like a garbage truck? Too late, time to get a move on. So between the working at the job site and working on the house we were moving into, by the middle of June, I was down to a size 14. Now I had started losing before the Dr appt, but had no idea how much I had lost, since I concentrate more on my clothes fitting and how I feel, but now that I knew I had to keep track. (that's the # obsession I was talking about). So I started measuring myself. I was NOT happy with any of this.

Summer 2011

Fast forward again to about 2 months ago. I knew I had lost weight and people were commenting on how much I had lost and how nice i was looking. I had also started walking and running and was down to about a 13 minute mile. I have never been a runner. I have bad knees and am not a cardio lover, in fact I think most of those that are may be a bit crazy, but whatever. My kids and I were doing our 5th breast cancer 5K in the end of October and I wanted to run it, so I trained and ran. Now, there is a difference between people telling you that you've lost a ton of weight and actually seeing and feeling it for yourself. I had lost almost 10 full pants sizes, so I knew I had and I was working out, so I felt it too. But it really hits you hard when you walk past a mirror and you don't recognize yourself which forces you to stop and recognize every little detail. I had lost the double chin, could see my cheek bones and that hollow in the center of my collar bone... Am I supposed to have that? Did I have that before I had kids? Was it always that deep? HOLY CRAP, is that an Adam's Apple? What in holy bejeebus? I was a totally different person. Well, when looking at myself, anyway. Still that same sassy attitude, people think I'm abrasive and obnoxious personality, but man! 

November 3, 2011

And here I am now, turning into one of those people that are constantly on the search for something new and challenging to try out and make me sore and LOOK! I even have some muscle definition! I can do push ups (the girly kind, cause my shoulders pop too much on the manly ones) and maybe even a pull up or 2. I can run 4 miles at a steady 10 min/mi pace. I can do squats without wanting to die and lift weights and shop in the normal section. BUT.....
I have NO illusions here. (hence the name of the blog) I do not expect to ever be skinny, as I haven't been since hitting puberty. I don't even WANT to be skinny, I want to be healthy and bad ass and hard core. I want muscle and strength and speed and stamina. I want to compete with the men and boys, not stand off to the side and be girly. I want people to be a little scared of me rather than want to hit on me, though that's a good feeling once in a while if it's not creepy. I want to lift heavier weights and try the newer hardcore workouts. I don't want to be a body builder, but want to be strong and feel good that I can fight as well as the next guy. I'm competitive, with others and myself, so I can do all of these things, as long as I stay on my own butt about it. 
Now, here I am at that in between a size 9 and 10 pants and wearing a medium shirt (most times, unless I get said shirt in the Jr's section at Target). Weighing in at an unknown weight, because I'm not obsessing over it, though I'll probably check it next week some time, with MUCH smaller measurements and a MUCH better outlook, though no less competitive. 
I have developed a motto/mantra/slogan, whatever. 
"If I'm anything I'm DETERMINED. To prove myself to myself. I refuse to accept a finish line. My life is a series of ever evolving goals."
This is what I hope to remember every day and institute as an attitude of life. School, family, business, fitness. It's all there, in those few sentences. They apply to it all.