You are definitely gonna LOVE MY NUTS!!!! (Plagiarism, COMPLETE!)

Hello again, reader(s)! I’ve come to tell the tale of some delicious nuts and grace you with the chance to win your very own can of them for the low and amazingly awesome price of FREE!

Let me assure you, I have plenty of wit and sarcasm to share, but for the purpose of this post, I will tone it down a LITTLE bit only for the Virgina's Best people, I will also, (as stated in the previous post) be plagiarizing myself to double post on the Cranky Fitness. Let’s just move along, shall we?

Now, I’ve reeled you in with my 4th grade "You're Going to Love My Nuts" joke. What’s it all about? Well, I hope everyone here has heard of the former Slap Chop guy turned Sham Wow guy turned alleged criminal via some very bad choices. (Thanks to Crabby for finding this link: if not, you can check out his SlapChop infomercial, or to blast a few extra calories, dance along to theremix version)). He uses the slap chop to beat the tar out of some peanuts and use them for the infomercial. I’m not touting the amazingness that is the slap chop or the creepiness that is that dude. I am, however going to grace you with the glory that is MV’s Best Virginia Cocktail Fine Virginia Peanuts.

I had the pleasure of sampling the Cajun flavor, as I’m not big on sweet stuff. (Yeah, I know I’m a freak.) These aren’t your typical peanuts. They’re quite large and don’t have that peanutty oomph to them that we’re all used to. While they do still have the peanut taste, it’s not as strong as you would expect. And you may see that the label shows what some may think are really spicy ingredients, but I assure you that they are not “make your eyes water” spicy. The spice is quite mild and enjoyable.

These nuts are pretty big.

I have fairly large, borderline man hands.

Had I been able to stop shoving them in my face long enough, I would have chopped some up (with my knock off version of a Slap Chop) to put on a salad, but alas, I was hungry and they were MMMMmmmmmmmm Gooooooood.

There are a variety of flavors to choose from. They currently offer Sea Salt, Toffee, Jalapeno, Milk Chocolate, the above mentioned Cajun and Unsalted flavors on the Virginia Cocktail Peanuts website.

I am looking forward to trying the toffee flavor next, despite my give or take attitude toward sweet foods. And at $5 per tin, they’re reasonably affordable for that next get together on your calendar. (Or your gluttonous venture into the world of sweet and savory nuts.)

Now, if you’re allergic to nuts, avoid. DUH! But, if you like a variety of flavor, texture, and trying new stuff, I HIGHLY recommend these cocktail peanuts.

(This is me, post 4 mile run, about to stuff my face and make inappropriate yummy noises while I beat my children back with sticks and tell them to go eat fruit roll ups. After all, this is for research purposes): 

Now, on to the BEST PART!!! For a limited time, you’re able to comment here, or on the Cranky Fitness post to enter to win your very own tin of delicious nuts. Below, in the comment section in either or both places, just leave a note, sentence, a 4th grade joke with or without innuendo, a line of prose, or whatever letting me know what flavor you’d be interested in trying from MV’s Best and we’ll draw a winner via the ever popular and GREAT AND POWERFUL RANDOM NUMBER GENERATOR. (say this out loud with the “"Wizard of Oz" Wizard voice” or it’s not as entertaining).

Once the winner has been drawn, we’ll announce it here and/or on Crabby's site on Tuesday May 1 as well as possibly send an email to you (if your address is ascertainable), and you’ll have until Friday May 4th at around noon (give or take 3 hours depending on which coast you live on) to respond to one or both of us with your US mailing address.

Disclaimer: Should the Great and Powerful RNG decide to be a pain, one of us will just pull out a commenter from the list and notify them.

Have great day, Cranky readers and go have an adventure!

Loving me some nuts! I'm a guest blogger, now! Go look!

Greetings from a land far far away I like to refer to as "Slackerville." It's been a while, yes. I have a laundry list of reasons and excuses, most of which involve some rendition of school, exams, kids, working out (Best one on the list, honestly) and just a lack of writing motivation. While I've got a phone application on my Android FULL of posting ideas, today I grace you with self-plagiarism.

I recently had the chance to guest post for one of my favorite blogs and under threat of internet death for reasons any Cranky Fitness reader would know, you should go look.

Now THOSE, up ^there, are some tasty nuts!

I regail (is that how you spell it? My spell check is being a buttwad) you with 4th grade prepubescent boy humor and giveaway some free shit. It's borderline healthy free shit, but it's friggin tasty as all hell. They're peanuts, but not the typical buy in the grocery store at $.99 for 3 bags kind of peanuts. They're huge and juicy-ish and mine were SPICY NUTS! I'm telling you, they're awesome. And if you live in the U.S. or have a US mailing address, you can win some for yourself. I'm going to put up a copy of what I wrote for Crabby McSlacker and her blog, minus the edits for it to be on her specific blog, so no worries if you're a link-leery net paranoid beginner. If you're not one of those leery people, you can just click THIS: You're gonna LOVE my nuts!

So, stay tuned, and while you're at it, get off your ass and MOVE! Have an adventure, play hop scotch, knock on a neighbors door and make them the victim of an unsuspecting game of freeze tag circa 1986. I don't care what you do, but DO SOMETHING!

Have a great day, all! And as always, Go have a damned adventure for crying out loud!